My Merry Christmas Wish

[spiritheartlady]

My Merry Christmas Wish
By Lori Triggs
Copyrighted Jan. 5 2009

At one time their was an Santa Clause
Today people are greedy even selfish
over money made by man to make more money,
Even over land will fight to their death
When the land was never theirs in the first place,
It is mother earths land and the animals even mammals with fishes.
So how can people believe in Santa Clause all they want to do is take.

At one time we believed in flying reindeer
today people have no courtesy or want to be friendly,
They are ignorant even self indulged into themselves
Thinking this is my money or my land even my car.
So how can people believe in flying reindeer.

At one time we made snow angels
Today people say you will get dirty,
Or that it is childish to make snow angels
Because people have no imagination anymore,
So the mammals with fish have clean water to live.
So how can people want to make snow angels.

At one time we put up a real or fake Christmas Tree
Today people say lets not decorate this year,
But when it comes to cutting down forests
even rain forests it perfectly ok in doing that,
So the animals with birds do not have a home.
So how can people want a Christmas Tree.

At one time we where given gifts
Today people are forced to give you gifts,
They think you need to earn them or not get them at all
The gifts I think we need is a clean earth, the land,
The sea, the air we breath even the water we drink
We do not need a brown earth, but a green clean earth,
With no wars, no starving people, no people living on the street
We need free medical care even housing the best education.
So how can people give gifts.

At one time we filled hung stockings
Today people just keep them in the closet,
I guess people forgot how to fill them?
So did I pull the stocking over you?
So what is the philosophy here?

[danielazarc]

I like the message you're conveying here, it's pretty meaningful, and bluntly honest. I like how you used free form instead of rhyming, though there's one thing I can suggest when you're doing free form -- even though it doesn't have to rhyme, it's good if the sentences/stanzas are around the same length or have close to the same amount of syllables. It doesn't have to be strict at all, but mixing in the long and short phrases makes it a bit of a tough read, and in some points made it look more like an essay or informative article than a poem.

Overall though, it's pretty good. Tweak it a bit, look at your phrasing and how it fits, and you've got a good poem. It's a great idea for a poem though, I'll tell you that.

[spiritheartlady]

Ty