Too much to ask for honesty?

[danielazarc]

Humans and emotions are weird, and that affects relationships of any kind. Now, I'm the kind of person who's pretty much bluntly honest about most things. I can be tactful, I don't mean that I'm rude, but I don't beat around the bush or try to hide things if something is up. I don't expect this of everyone, but I'd like at least a little effort on their part to be honest.

To put it simply, what I mean is this -- when I have a friend, if something is up, I expect them to tell me. I don't mean that I won't ask them what's wrong or that I expect them to be forward about everything, but I don't want them to hide things from me and expect me to play guessing games just to figure out what's up.

In my opinion that isn't really cold, it's just that I don't want to play a guessing game just to figure out what's going on with someone. I don't have the time, and it's irritating to deal with. I figure that if someone has something to say they'd do well to say it, because I'm not always going to press them and play their games. If it's something uncomfortable they need a bit of prodding with then yeah, I'll bite, because I do care. Just not all the time, since that's usually what people want.

So, ramble over now. If I made any sense, what do you guys think? Is that a valid preference, or too much to ask?

[Admin]

Nope, I'm the same exact way. I cannot stand it when someone sits there fuming, then snaps at me when I say something. It's like, "wtf did i do?" It'd be so much easier if they just opened their mouth and was like, "Hey, i'm mad because etc. etc." It gets frustrating, so half the time, I tell someone to fuck off until they can pull their head out of their ass and talk to me. I expect full honesty from all of my friends, and if I don't get, i tend not to bother with them.

[Ovi]

May 22, 2009 20:59:10 GMT @danielazarc said:

Humans and emotions are weird, and that affects relationships of any kind. Now, I'm the kind of person who's pretty much bluntly honest about most things. I can be tactful, I don't mean that I'm rude, but I don't beat around the bush or try to hide things if something is up. I don't expect this of everyone, but I'd like at least a little effort on their part to be honest.

To put it simply, what I mean is this -- when I have a friend, if something is up, I expect them to tell me. I don't mean that I won't ask them what's wrong or that I expect them to be forward about everything, but I don't want them to hide things from me and expect me to play guessing games just to figure out what's up.

In my opinion that isn't really cold, it's just that I don't want to play a guessing game just to figure out what's going on with someone. I don't have the time, and it's irritating to deal with. I figure that if someone has something to say they'd do well to say it, because I'm not always going to press them and play their games. If it's something uncomfortable they need a bit of prodding with then yeah, I'll bite, because I do care. Just not all the time, since that's usually what people want.

So, ramble over now. If I made any sense, what do you guys think? Is that a valid preference, or too much to ask?

Haha, women. Not being sexist but that's the impression most of my female friends left on me. Annoying as hell, totally agreed. Men tend to be more vocal, most of the time.

Btw, everybody thinks they are honest. Most of the time, it's the other way. It's human nature to hide the truth for the sake of self-interest. Anybody who doesn't is an angel. Are you?

[danielazarc]

May 23, 2009 1:44:55 GMT Ovi said:

May 22, 2009 20:59:10 GMT @danielazarc said:

Humans and emotions are weird, and that affects relationships of any kind. Now, I'm the kind of person who's pretty much bluntly honest about most things. I can be tactful, I don't mean that I'm rude, but I don't beat around the bush or try to hide things if something is up. I don't expect this of everyone, but I'd like at least a little effort on their part to be honest.

To put it simply, what I mean is this -- when I have a friend, if something is up, I expect them to tell me. I don't mean that I won't ask them what's wrong or that I expect them to be forward about everything, but I don't want them to hide things from me and expect me to play guessing games just to figure out what's up.

In my opinion that isn't really cold, it's just that I don't want to play a guessing game just to figure out what's going on with someone. I don't have the time, and it's irritating to deal with. I figure that if someone has something to say they'd do well to say it, because I'm not always going to press them and play their games. If it's something uncomfortable they need a bit of prodding with then yeah, I'll bite, because I do care. Just not all the time, since that's usually what people want.

So, ramble over now. If I made any sense, what do you guys think? Is that a valid preference, or too much to ask?

Haha, women. Not being sexist but that's the impression most of my female friends left on me. Annoying as hell, totally agreed. Men tend to be more vocal, most of the time.

Btw, everybody thinks they are honest. Most of the time, it's the other way. It's human nature to hide the truth for the sake of self-interest. Anybody who doesn't is an angel. Are you?

While I am honest and blunt, that doesn't mean I'll tell everyone everything on my mind. Some things are better left unsaid, that common knowledge. But if something needs to be said, I will say it. I'm willing to poke and prod a bit, god knows some things are uncomfortable to talk about and they need a bit of help, and I want to be there for my help. See, when I bring up a topic like this, what I think about most is the way people will hide anger, because that's the most damaging at times.

I was thinking about a particular incident when I wrote this post, actually. I have a select few friends (who may as well be ex-friends) who I haven't been getting on with well lately, mostly because of things to do with how they interact with me. Not going into specifics, there was an incident recently where a few of my friends went out of their way to hide things from me, then after that ended up succeeding, they were positively infuriated at me for not noticing what they did, despite their efforts to hide it from me. That I cannot and will not deal with from people.

The end result -- people either say what they want to say, or I will act like nothing is wrong. If they don't like it, they can keep away from me. If they can accept it, which generally means they aren't idiots, then they're cool with me. For god's sake, just talk, people.