The Herald: December 2006 Edition

[The Herald]

This month, we say goodbye to two dedicated writers; Ovi, and Sirius Wolfsbane. Both departures were of personal matters, and both would be welcomed back with open arms.

But, on the bright side, we welcome many to the growing Herald team! Our winners of the "Great Writer Hunt" were the following; jongos, Virtuoso, Saknika, Kai, and Bobby Hensley. Congrats to you five!

We also welcome back Kari as a part-time writer. She'll be submitting whenever she has the time to do so, and she'll be filling in missing articles when needed as well. She helped already this month on short notice. I'm ecstatic to have her back on the staff!

As for the cover this month, it's a stock image, brightened a little. Critique it, and feel my wrath. Rawr!

But really, I'm sick of people asking, "Who makes the covers anyways?" to answer that question, I do! I try my best...but sometimes I lack that certain quality. Please forgive me.

Also, you may notice once reading, there's no Member of the month, this month. That was Oliver's decision, take it up with him. I don't want hate mail in my inbox.

Other than that, that's it. Enjoy my blood, sweat, and tears. Get to reading! (Oh, and don't forget to comment the typical, "Good job you guys!")

[The Herald]

Once again, SolidSnake Designs would like to wish the following a very happy birthday.

Pierce	2nd
Josh	9th
jongos	10th
Max	17th
bryanic	21st
Ovi	23rd
Virtuoso	29th

If you have a birthday the month of December, and it is not listed, then you're tough out of luck. You should have posted. Have a great month, you seven!




City Limits by Reverse Blade was a template designed for Reverse Blade's own forum so you know that they put their heart and soul into making it. The color scheme is so different for a ProBoards template that it instantly sets it apart from the rest. Along with the fetching design and clean layout, I can see that it all adds up to this template becoming very popular.

Not only does it come with most of the images your forum needs, there are .psd files to edit so that you can make the rest or any other items that you might need easily and quickly.

The template does differ to that of the preview slightly as not all the codes are provided (these being for the forum that it was originally used for) but it is still a beautiful template worth downloading.

I would highly advise this template for a general themed forum, or perhaps a music forum. Of course it would also go well with a modern day role play forum. These are not the only choices of course as this template is definitely not limited to one theme only.

This chocolate and cream website will work sweetly on your forum so get it today!




I now know why I should leave this to Artemis every month. Literature of the month is definitely a hard job. Reading through the stockpiles of poems, short stories, and even sometimes a few chapters of a book is definitely time consuming. Though, this month I am quite glad I chose Literature of the month. It gave me the excuse to sit down by my computer with a warm mug of hot chocolate and read a fantastic few chapters by SSD's very own Kai. I chose the fantastic piece of literature titled We Belong Together by Kai.

I love what Kai has done with this story, it is an amazing story which he has written. He shows a great talent in writing, and is able to go very in-depth with his characters which I thoroughly enjoyed. I'd like to congratulate Kai on this story, it is both well written and a very good read. Thank you Kai for sharing this amazing story with us. It really is something.




I’m never one to look a gift horse in the mouth and, with that, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of featuring this photograph. Despite being the classic “look at me, I’m a hooooorsie” portrait, it’s technically well done and I like the use of the focus and sepia tones. Hurrah for Jonny! He’s done it again.




Welcome to another edition of The Herald, and likewise another signature and avatar of the month contest. This month saw fewer entries than usual, but there are still some artists worthy of recognition this month. Let's start things off with the winning avatar of the month.

Avatar of the Month:
Congratulations to .WhiteNight//! While his avatar may be simple with little animation and simple text, it gets the job done efficiently and cleanly transmits it's creator's message.



Signature of the Month:
Due to the lack of entries (and one being disqualified due to the entrant winning the previous month's competition), this decision was a tough one to make. However, the decision came down to image clarity, flow, and overall appeal, making STAN. (LPF) this month's winner. His signature is clean, the images clean, and the blending smooth. While the text is a bit large, the signature is very well made. Congrats!

---

Congrats to those who won and I would like to personally thank all those who entered in this month's competition. Look for next month's entry thread soon.




"Joy, good to know you love your father ryan"


"So much so that you can clean my living room and bathrooms too. If you do good, I might even give you a new pillowcase to wear."
- nicholas & Ryan/Psionic


" Lol, I'll try my best.

Deleteing yourself is so fun though "


"Yeah, specially when nobody even cares

Welcome back "
- nicholas & Ovi


"Do I get a prize if I answered them all correct?"

"Yes. HP is gonna sex you up."

"*giggles*"

"Wha...

Matt, no comment! "

"And I thought we had something special...

"
- nest, Lucifer, Assassinator, David [hp], and Ryan.gimili


"So I have my own country and language now...Assam and Assamese. *cackles* My plan is working out too well! *cue artos*"

"Typical for a guy with two asses. Such an ego boost..."
- Assassinator & David [hp]


"29th

Even though it says 27th on my profile. It's also many years wrong. .Oo"

"Just three days after mine *party*"
- Virtuoso & Ovi (like Josh stated, you can't count, haha)


"..Why do you think I'm failing math?"
- elpeef/LPF


"Glad to know that someone on here actually has a life. "


"Come on, even I have a life."
- Kay & elpeef/LPF


"Del, I heart you... and your hair. <3"


"I less than three you too."
- UC & Del


"Saknika, write an erotic lesbian story (Put me in it somewhere). I will forever be grateful to you."
- Ovi


"Looks good, I wonder how long the writer spent looking for actual coincidences like the Hiroshima bomb one."


"23 days"
- The Baron & Ryan.gimili


"'Ello, mate. Welcome aboard. Enjoy your stay, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, and please do not throw up on your fellow passengers.

My name's Artemis. I'll be your entertainment for the duration of the ride, assuming I don't get bored and cynical, and exit the vehicle posthaste.

"
- Artemis


"I find that swearing too often takes away from the sublety of comedy. In many network show, the heavy words have no place. Leave that to cable and special interest channels.

I mean, the FCC really can't go after cable since, like satellite radio, you have to pay for it. Networks should remain under its careful eye, though.

And remember: what may not be offensive to one may be offensive to those with money or power, so....

(This opinion is given by one who works for the media. Any other opinions, no matter how sensible, will be scorned and mocked for purposes of self-worth and amusement.)"
- Artos


"I said Conservatives donate more ... not that Liberals don't donate at all.

Its rather pathetic considering liberals earn more."


"It's a liberal media lie for anyone to say otherwise!

:3"


"Just a lie to say otherwise, the proof is in the posts above so ... lie all you want "



"I'm a liberal. We don't lie. We stretch the truth.



And then pin it on the conservatives."
- Internet/Web/UserX & Artos


"I wish I could have sex with spray paint."


"Make sure you cover your eyes when it orgasms."
- Darien & Ovi


"Told you so"

"it's alright that you accidentally edited my post."
- Josh & elpeef/LPF


"I am a freak, and I admit it.

*Runs away naked throwing lit candles about and screaming about something in chinese*"
- [dmsuperman]




"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."
- Ben Stein

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."
- Brendan Gill

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
- Isaac Asimov

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
- John Lennon

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."
- Robert Heinlein

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
- Sir Winston Churchill

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates

"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
- Woody Allen

"Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny."
- Aeschylus

"I hope the leaving is joyful; and I hope never to return."
- Frida Kahlo

"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."
- Joseph Stalin

"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death."
- Leonardo da Vinci

"The report of my death was an exaggeration."
- Mark Twain

"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive."
- Samuel Goldwyn

The third movie in this series is finally here. We've enjoyed Tim Allen's role as Santa Clause since the first one in 1994, now here we are in 2006 with his third attempt. I must say, it's a very successful attempt at that, despite what the critics say.

This time around Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) is facing being a father for his second time. He doesn't want to mess this time up. Being a pregnant Mrs. Clause isn't easy when you're husband is barely able to make time for you. Frustrated, Scott invites his in-laws up, but turns the North Pole into "Canada".

Then even more trouble gets plopped into Scott's lap, Jack Frost (Martin Short). Jack Frost is jealous of Santa, claiming that he's never recognized except in that song where it says, "Jack Frost nipping at your nose," so he decides at his last chance, he'll use the "Escape Clause" as his method to become the new and improved Santa Clause! Each Santa has their own snow globe that they aquire when they put on the red suit, Jack must obtain it, and get Scott to hold onto it and say, "I wish I had never become Santa Clause." Things go quite hectic, but entertaining from there.

Tim Allen once again pulls off the entertaining role of Santa Clause. Mixed with the entertaining Martin Short, this film is a perfect holiday movie to go and see with the whole family, or a few select friends.

4 out of 5

[The Herald]

Welcome to that seasonal month once again, December is upon us and the voices of the forums are asking those all too familiar questions, so I’m now going to set about answering some of those.

Version 6

As you can see it is still not here, it does look more complete than it was last month, trust me. I should explain that the reason why it has taken so long is because we’ve been rather unlucky with our development team, many people have come and gone, but we are determined to finish it for you. With previous versions, there felt like more of a real development side to SSD, people who would run the forum and people who would bring in the new ideas and looks. That no longer exists, as most of you can see.
So you have my apologies for that.

Staff Changes

A recent departure is Morgoth, Chillout moderator who has left for personal reasons, hopefully we should see him back to his usual posting self sometime soon. We are currently on the hunt for some motivated individuals to fill his shoes.

Long time member LPF has been removed from the Battle area due to inactivity, therefore Josh has temporarily been re-instated as the leader for that area. Like Chillout, we shall be keeping a close eye for people who we believe can manage and organise those boards.

We welcome Jongos as our new Critique moderator. I have been at the helm of this area for over 3 years, so it’s time for me to take some retirement from it. I shall still be around as old habits die hard, but to a lesser extent.

Christmas!

SSD shall be hosting its own Secret Santa throughout December, everybody will have the chance to be a part of it and receive a little gift. I shall be making the thread within the next few days.

Also on the cards are some Christmas Chatroom events, we’ll try and hold a few at different times as well.

Enjoy this issue!

Oliver

[The Herald]

Ah, the twenty first film in the ongoing James Bond series is here. Casino Royale has hit us, and to say the least has been quite successful. With the newly acquired Daniel Craig as James Bond he has done quite well. Despite being blonde, Craig has proved himself and has done exceedingly well.

The story, of course consists of murder, and romance … a typical Bond film. James Bond is united with his two very attractive lovers Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), and Solange (Caterina Murino) after recently retrieving his 007 status. He is then sent to Montenegro to meet Le Chiffre, a wealthy businessman who supports terrorists. Bond is required to beat Le Chiffre in a action packed poker game to retrieve the stolen money and hopefully get away. Though the rest will have to wait.

I highly encourage you to watch this film, it is a great story with an amazing plot and storyline. Of course, like any other Bond film it is packed with gadgets, romance, and car chases. I highly encourage you to see this film.

In my opinion it earns a hearty 4 out of 5.

[The Herald]

I’ve been working in a bookstore for a month now and so to fabricate a review on one of my newest favourite books is something that I can do at the drop of a hat. Without further ado, let’s get this underway!

The Bronze Horseman. Paullina Simons.

While weighing in at nearly 600 pages, Simons’ tale is one of an epic love story set in Russia during World War II between a native of Leningrad and an infantry soldier stationed there. On the day that war is declared, Tatiana (the young girl) is eating icecream while sitting on a bench and as Alexander Belov (the infantry soldier) crosses the road; their lives are forever changed as they encounter each other. They begin to fall in love, but things are complicated when Tatiana’s sister joins in the love to form a triangle, despite her love being unrequited.

As the country readies itself for war, the Metanov family begins to find it hard to get through the day as supplies run short and food is as valuable as gold.

However, with World War II raging in Russia, destiny inevitably twines these two protagonists together and they find that they cannot hide their love from those around them in their lives any longer. They come to learn that sometimes love is more important than the effect that it has on the people around them. Written as a heartbreaker, Simons has crafted a story that is bound to tug on the heartstrings of even the roughest of readers.

If you haven’t read it yet, you don’t know what you’re missing out on. It’s an epic love story – down there in the cheap seats, I can see you groaning – but it’s far from cliché. Spanning decades and countries, it’s a story that you’ll be able to relate to on an emotional level and it will stay with you long after you’ve turned the final page.

But wait, there’s more! The Bronze Horseman is the first of a trilogy. The books that follow it are:
The Bridge to Holy Cross
The Summer Garden

This story earns itself four stars.

[The Herald]

The long, long, long awaited album from the Deftones, "Saturday Night Wrist", has arrived. Each week it was pushed to the next Tuesday, over and over, until I started to believe it was a myth. CD now in hand, I can relax and listen.

I'm still trying to gauge more than just my initial reaction. I personally put a lot of pressure on this release. My expectations wanted perfection, that's all. So is this a perfect album? Difficult to say. In my opinion, it hasn't knocked "White Pony" from its perch as their best, but "White Pony" is attached to too many important memories for me to compare any other release from the Deftones to it.

As skilled as these boys are at metal, they do innovative/trippy even better. That is why "Pink Cellphone" emerges as my immediate favorite on "Saturday Night Wrist". The ending of this track is a bit disgusting, with a rather graphic explanation as to why British folk supposedly have bad teeth. How the song swerved from a commentary on misguided religion to why foreskin is filthy is a subject I won't explore. I'll just giggle at the guest singer's use of the word "poop" and leave it at that.

"U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,A,B,SELECT,START" is a rather peaceful instrumental. "KimDracula" is classic Deftones, melody and style-wise. "Rats!Rats!Rats!" holds a nice moment of rather excellent, driving proof of the musicians' synchronicity.

There is no song that can be described as bad on this album. I consider "Rapture" to be the weakest track, dangerously close to being an ordinary song. However, grading on a curve, a weak track from the Deftones is still above average as far as new music goes. "Saturday Night Wrist" is a solid body of work, and the stronger tracks more than compensate for the slightly less ear-catching tunes.

4 1/2 out of 5 stars.

[The Herald]

This month's preview will focus on Nintendo's The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for both the Nintendo Wii and Gamecube. As one of Nintendo's prized franchises, the company has delayed the game twice to ensure that the developers have had ample time to make this the "best Zelda game ever", even beyond the scope of Ocarina of Time, which is something we all hope four years of development would produce. By launching Twilight Princess with Nintendo's highly-anticipated Wii console, Nintendo has made one of its smartest business moves ever, if not the smartest, as the game is guaranteed to push console sales, especially for those who are to impatient to wait an extra month for the Gamecube version, or simply for those who wish to experience Zelda with a new, tailored control scheme.

Box art for Twilight Princess (Wii).

As many of you already know, the game's main hero is Link (different from those of the other games in the series), a young farm lad from a small, rural village. One day, Link is summoned to attend the Hyrule Summit, for reasons unknown to him. As he is traveling along a path to Hyrule Castle in the woods, he enters a mysterious realm known simply as the Twilight Realm, which has engulfed all of Hyrule. Upon entering this strange, over-saturated travesty of the Hyrule Woods, Link finds himself transformed into a wolf, with a whole new set of abilities, and suddenly he is captured. Link, in wolf form, awakes to find himself imprisoned within a castle and a mysterious entity known as Midna appears and helps set him free on a mission to rid Hyrule of the Twilight Realm's dark grip.

Twilight Princess offers hours upon hours of Zelda goodness and claims to trump Ocarina of Time in all respects. Offering two more dungeons, a revamped AI system, new, mysterious foes, allies, and power-ups, and a new control scheme on the Wii version of the game, Twilight Princes is primed to overtake the epic nature of its predecessors.

With the Wii version already on shelves, and the Gamecube version being released on December 11^th, expect to see Nintendo's golden effort all around as you browse your local game retailer.

[The Herald]

So, as we approach the Christmahannukwanzakah season, every guy gets the same feeling: dread. Whether it's your mom, your sister, your girlfriend, or your girl friend, there's, no doubt, one female on Santa's-- I mean the big, fat, non-denominational stalker in red who we allow to break and enter ever year's-- list. However, how does the guy find the right gift? I mean, 364 days out of the year, the guy's biggest concern is who wins at football, and where his other sock is. So how do you go about finding the right gift?

Well, being one of the few guys who enjoys shopping and who has a large amount of success in this area, I figured I would help you out...

For each class of female, there are certain things you must consider. We're going to start off with the girlfriend, move on to the mom, go on to the girl friend, and finish up with the sister.

OK, so you've got a sweetheart, and know the shit will hit the fan if you don't get her something for Christmas. Well, let's start with the basics. Get her something she'll use. Most people get this step. What they miss is the meaning of it. Something she'll use does not mean something utilitarian. Hedge clippers, nostril hair pluckers, and pots are not a good idea. Why? Because, as our male-dominated society has ensured, the female tends to do the housework, in most situations. So a reminder on Christmas that she has to scrub the toilet tomorrow isn't going to please her, see? The only exception to this is if she likes doing that stuff. If she likes gardening, hedge clippers are acceptable. If she likes to cook, a fancy pot won't be smacking you upside the head. If she... likes to pluck her nose hairs, for some odd reason... Okay, regardless of what she likes, don't get her nostril hair pluckers. This leads into our next point: get something she enjoys doing. Suppose she wants to be a journalist when she grows up. A book on journalism, or a biography of a famous journalist, might be a good idea. Make sure she doesn't have it, and be creative. If she likes sports, you don't have to get her a tennis racket. Maybe a spa gift certificate for after her practices? Creativity in gifts, within the normal bounds, is always appreciated.

Moms. The nice ladies who managed to squeeze us out of... never mind. Anyways, these little wonders have given us more than we can imagine in the three plus years since our birth. So it's only fair that we repay them, right? Step one: don't get them something they'll use. That's a bad idea. They do enough already. Get them something small that they can look at. Something small, and sentimental. Plaques with cute poems or an embroidered pillow are nice ideas. Another good idea is a picture of something moms love more than anything else: their family. A nice picture, with a mushy picture frame, always is a big hit. But the best thing to give your mom for Christmas is: you and your time. Make a date to go shopping with her (no complaining!) or go out to lunch. Get her a card game you can play together. You're the center of your mom's life, and your gift should reflect that.

Enter the girl friend. That friend of the female persuasion that you always seem to get into awkward situations with, and are careful not to get too close to, lest you be accused of dating (eww...) her. You've traded gifts since you met, and you want to get her a gift that says "I value you as a friend" without saying "I want to get in your pants." I'll give you the first hint: jewelry is a bad plan. If every kiss begins with Kay (the jeweler, not our editor...), and you're not looking for a kiss, don't shop at Kay's. I recommend something fun. Movie tickets (a comedy or a family, not a chick flick or a horror), some sort of entertainment, things like that are always a good plan. Play to her interests, but make sure to give it a light, fun feel, so that you both don't feel awkward.

Finally, the sister. That sadistic bitch who takes on the role of second mommy, whether we like it or not. Or maybe the whiny brat, who we've got to stay home with, instead of going out to the movies with our friends. Let's start with the sadistic bitch first. Try jewelry, to start. Earrings, or a bracelet. No necklaces. That's a bad plan. Too close to incest for comfort. Bracelets, earrings, and the like are a good plan. Try to avoid mushy or sentimental. Cd's, DVDs, and the like are also a good plan. For the whiny brat, go with a Gameboy game, a board game, a stuffed animal, or something similar, depending on age.

Hopefully, this little guide helped. Good luck, guys. ^-^

[The Herald]

Here are a few questions that readers sent in to my inbox. I hope that the advice is helpful to you, and that your days are filled with splendor! Remember, this is on a trial run, and next month I hope to find my inbox chalk-full with members needing my help, so send them in!

Dear Saknika,

I have awful anger issues. I seem to get really annoyed at simple things. I've been told that it runs in our family, my mothers side gets irritated at things that do not seem to bother anyone else, my fathers side have very short and explosive tempers. This is a bad mix because I'll get irritated and then become very angry for, what looks to be, no reason. Plus, when I can't explain what is irritating me so much it angers me further.

I take this out on my other half and though I know he is very understanding I'm frightened that one day he may just think "enough is enough" and leave. I don't mean to take it out on him, and I honestly try not to snap but things are getting worse as the months go on with these irritations occurring more frequently.

I'm thinking it's stress related, perhaps due to work, but even when I'm supposedly relaxed on holiday or a weekend break, I still end up getting angry.

I also find I throw or destroy the things that I'm working on, regardless of how long it took me to make/do. No sane person would destroy something that they slaved so very long over, and I really regret it afterwards once I've clamed down, but I can't seem to stop myself.

Any advice?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

It does sound like stress might be getting you down. To start, I’d suggest trying ten deep breaths whenever you start to feel irritated or annoyed, to try and calm down. Just try to clear your mind, and let things that are simple roll off your shoulders. It’s natural to be angry, but not as often as you describe.

At night, or whenever you might have some free time, try meditating. This doesn’t mean sitting cross-legged going “hmmmmn…” Instead, sit in a relaxed, comfortable position with your eyes closed, and take deep breaths. In your mind, picture something that is soothing to you. Every five breaths pause and hold that deep breath for five seconds before releasing it. You should feel some of the stress and tension leave your body, and help you to relax and be happier.

To try and pinpoint things that definitely irritate you, make a list. Don’t just list the negative though, list positive too. On one side, put down what makes you happy, and on the other side put what angers you. Then, try to do more positive things and less negative.

When it comes to destroying work, try increments of time. Work on a project for fifteen minutes, and then step away and have a cup of coffee, or tea, or something. Let your mind rest before going back to what you were working on. And if you feel yourself getting irritated at the project, step away. Don’t let it escalate to the point that you destroy it. It might take longer to complete what you’re working on, but at least it will reach the point of completion.

If things still seem to progressively worsen, I’d speak to a doctor. There might be a medication that could help to relax you and uplift your spirits. Sometimes, these things can be solved simply, but other times they cannot. I would, however, leave the doctor’s visit as a last resort.

Best of luck to you!

-Saknika

Dear Saknika,

I'm really in need of some help! I want to make a daily schedule, and one for the weekends. Well, when I do make a schedule, I never follow it, or I forget...

Well, usually I will plan out my day as I go along, but I would like to know what to do. You see, I'm never informed on something until the last minute, and, if I am in the middle of something, or have something important to do, e.g. feed my dog, I can't do it in time to do it. I have to get ready to leave, and then I don't have time to do anything, and etc. But when I don't have a schedule, my preferred way, and I do make up things as I go along, I forget to do things.

Also, I have an annoying older brother always trying to get on my computer since his is broken, and I don't always have time to (when I've done things for that period of time) kick him off because he is so stubborn. I also have another brother to help entertain, he's like four months older than I am (step-brother), and I can't figure out a way to get everything done.

I also don't see my family very much. It's been two years since I last saw some of my cousins, and four years for other ones, and my grandparents. I really need help!

Sincerely,
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Wow! You certainly sound like a busy person! And being busy can be a good thing, so long as you’re organized. Schedules aren’t always easy to keep, so don’t make one. Instead, try making a To-Do list, and cross things off as you get them done. While it’s not a schedule, it will help you to get everything done. It’s a bit more flexible, but still a constant reminder. It also alleviates some of the stress that a schedule can put on you.

When it comes to your brother stealing your computer, put a password on it to protect it. There should be a way to set up user accounts with logins, which would prevent him from being able to get on. That way, only you can use your computer, and those who you chose to let on. Just be sure to not forget the password setting! If you need help setting it up, I’d check the computer wiz section of SSD. They can probably help you with that.

Sometimes, it’s hard to keep in touch with family, but perhaps you could organize a family reunion of sorts over a vacation, and get everyone together. Try to do this annually, that way you don’t go as long without seeing them. It also helps with those who live a long distance from you, because then they don’t have to travel as much.

Best of luck to you!

-Saknika

[The Herald]

Gay? I think not.

Many members around the boards have come to the conclusion that my little sex slave, Jonny, is a homosexual. I can assure you that he is not. He displays many qualities that are common for a man who is straight.

Let's dive a little deeper, shall we?

How did this rumor originate? In the Herald board, more precisely the "We're Trying Something New" thread itself. Jonny tried to correct a few members, and stated as an example "I'm not sure about my sexuality..." This lead to the mass spread of rumors all throughout Proboards, which eventually reached back to Jonny's house, causing a very large riot there. One instance was when his granny found out, and smacked him across the face. That in turn, led him to spilling his coffee on his latest camera, thus limiting his photo productivity. As you can see, one single rumor can go a long way.

Disproving the theory.

Many people know that Jonny has had a girlfriend, for quite some time now actually. I am bringing this up because if he truly does question his sexuality, I would not think he would have a relationship with a female, or any relationship at all with anyone. Though, this could simply mean that he is finding men equally attractive as he finds women. How can I prove otherwise? There are some other things I know about Jonny that I wish to bring up.

The fashion. Jonny wears brown quite often, would not someone with a more feminine fashion sense choose brighter, more appealing colors? This leads me to believe that Jonny is in fact, not questioning his sexuality. Though, are there any other facts that will support this theory?

Writing style. Jonny has never made any real inclination that he is questioning his sexuality, many men and women usually drop hints, etc.. or they hit on members of the same sex. Jonny has made some comments, but none which would make anyone think he is gay. Though, he could have only began thinking this way recently, and that's why we haven't heard of it until now.

In the end it's up to you to put together the pieces and come up with a final product. Is Jonny questioning his sexuality, or does he stand firm with being straight? Fit those pieces, torture your mind with the question; draw a conclusion.

[The Herald]

      Essay writing has always been frowned upon by the typical writing community. They tend to think that essays are difficult, tedious, and time consuming. This guide, however, will assist you in not only writing powerful essays, but have fun while doing it too. Those are two things which have never been placed together in a single sentence in the history of man and ape kind.

   The first, and perhaps most important thing to know, is your tense. It is imperative that all essays be done in third person. So, instead of saying “I think…” or “I Believe…” you would rather write something along the lines of “It can be seen…” or even perhaps “One can see…” You would be surprised how many people get trapped due to utilizing first and/or second person. The only situation either of the latter two may be used is during dialogue. Aside from those two tense, everything is fair game.

   The next trap people tend to find themselves in is faulty paragraph structuring. The best essays have three paragraphs: the Introduction, Middle, and end. Only if you really need to, you may use 5 paragraphs. But 3 paragraphs is generally the best format, and most commonly used.

   O.K., so you have got the basic procedures done. It is now time to head over to the table, and begin the real[/i] essay writing. So, get your thinking caps/hats on, get a class of water, and/or a pop like liquid, and find a nice comfortable position – remember, aside from bad punctuation and mental blocks, butt cramps are a writers worst enemy.

   The first thing in writing a kick-hindquarters essay is to gather up a table showing all that you will write in your essay. So, to begin, start jotting down every point you have in mind which supports your part in the issue. Get as many as you wish, whether they be strong or weak points. Remember, the more you have, the better. Now, after you have all of your points ready, begin analyzing your points. Think of examples and evidence you have which back up each point. Once you are complete, gather up between 3-5 of all of those points, and jot them down. Make sure those few are the strongest you have come up with. Now start jotting down the different points and examples you have rummaged, and jot them down again. If you have already started having finger cramps, get up, stretch a bit, then sit back down and get right to it. If your hand by this stage is paralyzed, call 911.

   Now that you have your jot notes completed, we can start writing the essay. First off, you have the beginning paragraph. Your setup will be as follows: Give the thesis statement, vaguely address your points, deliver the finishing statement. Now let us together analyze it, to prevent your good ol’ brain from making circles. So you begin with the thesis statement. The thesis statement needs to bring to the table the topic at hand, within one maximum two sentences. Here is a good example of one:

Over the years, there has always been controversy over whether potatoes can be grown on Mars.

   Simple, right? That sentence has delivered the topic which is discussed in the essay. Though it is not evident, it isn’t realistic to have that as the topic sentence, yet have the essay based around purple pencil crayons. This obviously does not do your entire introduction justice. You have given them the topic itself, but you have not given them what position of the topic you withhold. So now you drive into(provided your of legal driving age) the next sentence which will deliver your points, thus also giving your point of view.

However, after a very thorough examination, it can be seen that, Mars has rich soil, potatoes are shaped like Mars, and potato chips taste their best at Mars.

   Now, obviously, this seems like what an uneducated boob would say. Now here ye, I am no boob! This here sentence delivers all of your points, though it doesn’t seem as so isolated. And since all of these give a connection between potatoes and Mars, a readers mind automatically intakes your position on the topic. So, to sum it all up, we plug in the concluding sentence.

   When writing a concluding sentence, you must make it a direct statement rather than a personal statement.

So instead of doing this:

Therefore, this essay will prove that potatoes can grow on Mars.

You would do:

Therefore, due immensely to those factors, potatoes can be grown on Mars.

   Remember, when writing an essay you are generally addressing your opinion in a persuasive position. You cannot guarantee you will prove anything. Remember, it is an Opinion piece, not an Informal piece.

So this is what we have blended together so far.

Over the years, there has always been controversy over whether potatoes can be grown on Mars. However, after a very thorough examination, it can be seen that, Mars has rich soil, potatoes are shaped like Mars, and potato chips taste their best at Mars. Therefore, due immensely to those factors, potatoes can be grown on Mars.

   So save your work if its on the computer, or store your notebook somewhere safe. The next part will cover the Statement-Proof-Analysis system, and the finishing of the middle paragraph. Happy essay-ing!

[The Herald]

Well, I had the unsavory task of interviewing one AI/Nahiyan this month, to see what his humdrum existence was all about. I had to get to the bottom of why anyone would be friends with Virt, other than as a means of self-mutilation. The answer, I noticed, was that there was no answer.

So, pull out your pillow, and dive into the log of my chat with our newest addition, AI.

---

Artemis: OK, sir. Please state your name for the court.
AI: My name ahem: AI/Nahiyan
Artemis: I see. And what's your current occupation?
AI: I am a highschool student
AI: And a tutor.
Artemis: I see.
Artemis: And what is your interest in the SSD community?
AI: Let's see...
AI: Graphics mainly.
AI: And also chill out.
AI: Talk in general.
Artemis: I see. *writes that down*
AI: Haha.
Artemis: So, you are, I would assume, a site designer?
Artemis: As opposed to, persay, a gallery artist
AI: Yes and digital artist.
AI: Both.
Artemis: Ah.
AI: Website and gallery.
Artemis: Which do you tend to focus more on?
AI: I used to be a hardcore web designer but now im 50/50. Digital art and web designing.
Artemis: Mmkay.
Artemis: Do you plan to make a career out of it?
AI: No.
AI: Web designing and graphics are just a hobby.
Artemis: Okay.
AI: I plan to study Nanotech Science later.
Artemis: I see.
Artemis: What other hobbies do you have?
AI: Let's see...
AI: BASKETBALL!
AI: AND
AI: Ummm...
AI: Web surfing.
AI: PS2, reading.
AI: Sports too.
AI: Emphasis on Basketball.
Artemis: Normal teenager, huh?
Artemis: You any good at basketball?
AI: Yep.
AI: I guess.
AI: Point guard of team...
Artemis: *nods like he's interested. Wipes drool off the corner of his mouth*
Artemis: Switching gears, so I can stay awake
AI: Haha.
Artemis: Why'd you come to SSD in the first place?
AI: Well let's see.
AI: I came to forums with the help of Virt.
AI: I joined SSD a year ago but never was active.
Artemis: Account name?
AI: I lost my account, recently I joined again.
AI: My old one was nahiyan something...
Artemis: Okay.
Artemis: Why'd you rejoin?
AI: New one is aissd because ai was taken.
AI: Because making forums was too much.
AI: And told myself to join.
AI: I like it now, really nice plays.
AI: Artemis's Playground
Artemis: More like my gas chamber.
Artemis: But anyways.
AI: Haha.
Artemis: What're your plans for it now?
AI: For ssd?
Artemis: Yup.
Artemis: Where do you intend to focus?
AI: Plan to stick around until I get shot, I think.
Artemis: Battles? Critiques?
AI: Graphics and chillout.
AI: Just improve upon graphics.
AI: Nothing special.
Artemis: Mmkay.
AI: Battles, critique.
AI: Anything.
Artemis: Do you have any oddities, anything supremely weird about you, that you'd like to share with the brave, hardy, loyal, and in-need-of-a-job readers who have gotten this far?
AI: Nothing really... just that Virt is really weird
AI: But myself.
AI: Can't think right now...
AI: Oh yeah ok so.
Artemis: "right now"
AI: I have one.
Artemis: Right.
AI: In grade six.
AI: I broke my ankle.
AI: Badly.
AI: It broke to 180 degrees
AI: And now it's still sort of broken.
AI: That's sort of an oddity.
AI: And I was playing basketball.
AI: I was in the Montreal Youth Team.
AI: And got tackled...
AI: Bleh.
Artemis: Fascinating... I can see you're just a thrill a day, huh?
AI: Haha.
AI: You can say that.
Artemis: So, now that I've insulted you thoroughly, your final question, before I put our readers out of their misery:
AI: Hehe.
Artemis: If you could choose one person on SSD to meet, who would it be, and why?
AI: Let's see...
AI: Oliver The reason: How he runs this place so nicely when some of us can't even run some small forum. Also, virt says he can hypnotize people.
Artemis: Wheee.
Artemis: Okay.
Artemis: Thanks for taking the time out of your thrilling life to chat with us.
AI: Oh no problem.
Artemis: Now stop talking to this internet pedophile stalker, and go out and make friends.
AI: I had nothing better to do.
AI: I have friends
Artemis: ... Imaginary ones don't count.
AI: Awww damn.
Artemis: n00bs like Virt, don't count either.
AI: I know
Artemis: Now, this interview's over. Really. I promise
Artemis: *turns recorder off*
Artemis: *secretly leaves it on*
AI: Hehe.
Artemis: *or does he?*
AI: Sure.


As a sidenote to all those that made it to the end of this; please keep in mind Kay wanted to nearly kill me when she layed eyes upon this, so please, I hope you enjoyed this.

Please also note that I am too pretty to die.

[The Herald]

Here are some randomly fun facts to brighten your day. Remember, they’re all true, and we’ve wasted spent money funding projects to find some of this stuff out!

THE FACTS:

• The Bible, the world’s best-selling book, is also the world’s most shoplifted book.
  
• People who drink coffee are less likely to commit suicide than people who don’t.
  
• Because steel expands when it gets hot, the Eiffel Tower is six inches taller in the summer than in the winter.
  
• Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of the blue whale.
  
• The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds—more than any other animal.
  
• Mexico City has more taxicabs than any other city in the world.
  
• There is enough iron in a human being to make one small nail.
  
• Men get hiccups more often than women.
  
• Exhibitionists are most likely to be married men.
  
• The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows—shaved eyebrows were a fad at the time.
  
• A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
  
• A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
  
• A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
  
• A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
  
• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
  
• A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
  
• A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
  
• A snail can sleep for three years.
  
• Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
  
• All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
  
• Almonds are a member of the peach family.
  
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
  
• Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
  
• Butterflies taste with their feet.
  
• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
  
• "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
  
• February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
  
• In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
  
• If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
  
• If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
  
• It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
  
• Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
  
• Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
  
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
  
• On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
  
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
  
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  
• Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  
• "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
  
• The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
  
• The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
  
• The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
  
• The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
  
• The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
  
• The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
  
• There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
  
• There are more chickens than people in the world.
  
• There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
  
• There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
  
• There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
  
• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of
  the keyboard.
  
• Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance
  
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
  
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

That would be it for this month, hope they interested you!

[The Herald]

While many may consider Princess Tutu to be a rather immature and childish anime, it is in fact one of the most complex animes out there. Princess Tutu is all about a duck that transforms into a girl in order to help her beloved prince regain his heart, while being a ballerina! However, no anime is complete without drama and conflict, and that is also in here. It is like your classic love tragedy with a villain and a hero; only things get skewed around. One second the prince is a hero, the next a villain. Of course, the villain also becomes a hero as well. And you can’t seem to predict anything for this anime, because its cliché use is a bare minimum. Finding one is slim to none.

The art of it isn’t what would be considered top-of-the-line drawing though. It does lack in detail, and can be considered crude at times. However, it still holds its own quality; because while it’s simple, it’s also very unique. It’s hard to find a uniquely drawn anime these days.

When it comes to the actual animation of the show, it’s top notch. Everything is smoothly done, and there are no motions that couldn’t be performed by a human being. Of course, being that it’s main characters are all ballerinas, they are moves that would have to be performed by a highly flexible human being; but they can be done! It’s a nice thing to see in an anime.

One of its downfalls though, is that the titles to each episode are in what appears to be Russian. Not exactly sure, however, they’re definitely not in English or Japanese. So an episode can’t be determined by the title of the episode.

This anime consists of a total twenty-six episodes, and there are no movies. It was originally created by Ikuko Ito, and released to America by ADV Films.

Overall, I give it 4.5 out 5 stars.

[The Herald]

When creating signature borders there are a few different aspects that should be covered. We covering some of those today. The three aspects we will be looking at are color, thickness, and style.

1.] Colors) For signature borders you can choose between a variety of colors, it's not too specific. However, you will generally want to stick to darker shades. This is because unless it's a rather light signature it will contrast horribly. For example, the following simply cannot be put together.



If your signature is dark you don't want to go with a black border, the same goes applies light images and white borders.

Here is how a dark image looks with a dark border:



See? It's too difficult to see the border here, and your eyes wander.

However, if we replace it it with a nice white border it should look better.



You are able to see the border without a problem.

2.] Thickness) The thickness of your border can play a very important role in your signature. Generally, your border can be as slim as one pixel, but some times it should be thicker to pull off a better appearance. However, I'd say the thickest it should be is 3 pixels so it doesn't overwhelm the rest of the image.



This border is obviously much too thick.

3.] Style) Now, there are different ways to modify your borders to look snazzy. This article won't go in-depth with these styles because there are many variations. However, some will be shown below:







Your border style can change easily. You just have to think outside of the box and try new things, be creative with it. Creativity is success in all aspects of art. Good luck with your borders. =]

[The Herald]

3Dimensional postwork art is a medium of art commonly frowned upon my artists. This is mainly due to it being typically "trendwhore." However, the style itself is quite difficult to achieve, but is very nice to not only look at but to create as well.

The basic denotation of 3D Postworking, is creating a model using a 3D modelling system(namely, Cinema 4D, 3D Studio Max, etc.) and then using a photo editing suite to add postwork, refining it into a complete work of art. This style, which is almost always abstract, has been developed by many, as it is very popular in the current day and age. The reason this style is different and perhaps more difficult in certain aspects than most other styles, is due to the fact you are to master two different programs. There are many who use premade renders and do merely the postwork, but that isn't an art. That's like taking a painted canvas and adding a few little dabs of ink and claiming it as your own. It is only truly and authentically art if you create every aspect on your own.

Here are a few common DeviantART 3D Postwork Artists who are prominent in the art scene:

destiny952.deviantart.com/ - Destiny specializes in lighting effects in his pieces. He is a proclaimed master in adding light to certain areas, and diminishing it at others. He has set numerous trends in the field of art, and is looked upon by many aspiring artists.

brandonc1.deviantart.com/ - Brandon known mainly for his effects used on his pieces. He commonly uses stocks or brushing techniques to add real uniqueness to his pieces. He has developed his style to a very eloquent yet rough artistic field.

1alpha1.deviantart.com/ - A new artist to the field who has amazed the entire artistic community with his pixel-realistic renders and amazingly unique postwork. He specializes mainly in the render work itself, though the postwork is very nice as well.

If you are interested in getting into the field of 3D Postworking, then go for it. However, it is important to know there will be many barriers to overcome. First of all, you will have to find a way to develope your own style. Nowadays most 3D Artists have similar styles. Only those like the ones mentioned above who have developed their own personal unique styles have grown popular and have been complimented by the greats. Another thing you will need to watch out for are critiques. Critiques can destroy and artists hopes and dreams. 3D Art tends to lure the most critics. As long as you stay strong and determined, they shouldn't be a problem to you.

[The Herald]

Name: My Name is Andrew, I go by Kahless on forums and such.
Age: 16
Hobbies: boxing, coding and graphics design
Website(if any): I have a website, Kronos Designs, We've just added the Christmas skin that I designed, includes snow and lights and what not, we got a good sized render gallery as well


Many may not have known you're a designer, despite that you have a design forum. So when did you start?

Ugh, way back when Thom still ran ZD, gotta be near 2 years now. But yeah not many people know about my designing, I don't really make sigs or things like that anymore, forum skins I do. As well I've become more popular as a coder then a designer

That you have, that you have. You're multi-talented, something I'm not. Haha. So your favored technique would in fact be skins, why so?

Well with sigs no one really sees them or appreciates them, but with skins people see them all the time and use them and can actually see and enjoy it. It gives you a good feeling when you see people enjoying it on your forum.

What about for others use? Or going professional and selling your skins? Thought about any of those?

Eh, I've worked on one or two skins that I've thought about releasing, but most of mine have more original things to them, the welcome table for instance is modified to the point where the coding is to complex for a regular person to modify.

What about programs? Do you work with just one, two, or more?

Photoshop mainly, but I use paint for pixel work.

Most designers have some inspiration whether it comes from another person, a piece of artwork, a song, there's always something. What or who was it for you, and why?

Original concept for KDV3, originally was for Revamped Graphics, my first graphics forum. x-ceeds work inspires me on some of my skins, but I find that a good Zeppelin track(Like there are any other kinds) gives me ideas for skins. The rhythm of the music just gets me going and I design and it just comes out

*eats another cookie because Kay is taking so long*

Alright, well do you have any words of inspiration or wisdom for those looking into starting to design?

Never give up, never surrender! Just kidding, but yeah don't give up just because your first pieces aren't to great, read tutorials, like the ones on Kronos, that can teach you the fundamentals and tricks to make you a better designer.

Haha, nice way of promoting. Any who, do you have three pieces to share with us to give us an idea of your non-talent *cough* I mean, talent?

Hahaha sure, hm here's an old one of mine,

Sig

test
It's a banner also thought of as KD V3 but VC V2 was nearly

And this, it's a concept made again as a version of KD, I think it was the first one:
KD Test
I think they're decent but I never do good work until I have put in a few hours.

Those are quite nice. Thank you Andrew for your time.

No prob, Rock on.

[The Herald]

~JasonGoad
I've got to give props here. JasonGoad has a very impressive gallery if you're looking for t-shirt silkscreen prints. His latest, Stocking Stuffer, for the up and coming holiday, has earned him a very well deserved Daily Deviation. Roam around his gallery, and shower him with praise.


*xbost
Macabre and Horror, and Fantasy seems to be xbost's favorite. He accel's quite well in these areas, and it's proven with his recent Daily Deviation for homeland. The date of submission is far off from when the Daily Deviation was awarded, more proof that xbost's talent is just now being thrown into the spotlight.


~zummi
Zummi displays talent throughout her whole gallery. You'll find pieces you love, and pieces you hate, but I'm sure you'll be impressed. Each piece is different, and has taken a chunk of her precious time. Be sure to stop by and browse her gallery. I, myself, think one her most impressive pieces would be Rapture. Go, see for yourself!


*eouen
Something a bit different, a Comic Artist that caught my eye. Eouen also is a proud owner of an impressive gallery, if comics are your kind of art, that is. Dapper Mr. Rotwood - 1, won her a Daily Deviation, but Dapper Mr. Rotwood - 2 is just as capturing as the first. Some changes, but still great nonetheless. I urge you to view her gallery.


=larafairie
I tried to stray away from photographers, though they are artists too, but this one...I had to mention. A personal fave would be Cut Off Lips. It's capturing, and inventive. The concept is amazing and pretty original from what I've seen. She's a great photographer, and worth watching if you have a dA account.


That's it for this edition of "Five Top Artists". This was my first shot at it, but I might just come back for a second round next month. Enjoy!

[The Herald]

This my final article as a full time writer for The Herald, a magazine that I have graced the pages of for all but one edition is going to be a simple reflection of my love for my fellow geeks.

Originally this month’s article was going to be on security; however it soon became apparent that with the future of my status here as at the Herald and what I will be doing, security isn’t the thing I am thinking of at the moment. This is a story, the story of how I became a geek.

When I was five years old my Grandad bought me an Apple Macintosh for my birthday, the model of which I cannot remember yet I know at the time it was what we would describe today as powerful. That day changed my life, December 17^th, 1994 was the day I became a geek.

From that day forward I thought of myself as a part of geek culture, with my name appearing on nearly five pages when I do a vanity search and my witty although sometimes controversial musings getting me into trouble wherever I turn. Although I am not the famous of all geeks, I cherish my status amongst the geek crowd. I test several programs that are used by millions of people throughout the world as well as post news stories that circulate throughout the globe, although not with any real status at Kevin Rose’ digg.com.

Until 2001, I had been stuck on Windows 95 since around 1997. Oh how that sucked, however I did learn how to successfully screw up a machine. Within two days of owning the machine that had a Intel i486 processor and 8 megabytes of RAM, I had successfully deleted the boot files from the hard drive and then reinstalled the entire operating system from the floppy drive, this was on December 19^th, 1997. I had that machine for a little under 4 years, I had a chance to run Windows 98 on a few occasions which was fun but I couldn’t get it to run on my system which sucked like a Dutch hooker.

2001 rolled around, I had scored the highest level on my SATs, which was an impressive 6. In the US that would make me mentally retarded, however we have a different system over here in the UK. My parents decided it was time for me to have an upgrade; I got a then top of the range PC with 256 megabytes of RAM, a 40 gigabyte hard drive and then powerful AMD Athlon XP which had a clock speed of 1.47 GHz. Oh how 1337 I was, I also got dial up! I spent hours upon hours online, trying to gain popularity on the internet, making myself more technological-like.

By the time my 14^th birthday in 2003 I learned how to gain a free pizza once and a while by using the skill known as social engineering as well as learning how to bypass my school’s security system and get into the main server and creating a set of batch files that could if I had wanted to delete the entire contents of the server, lucky for them I didn’t initiate the batch files. Basically, I was becoming dodgier as each day went by.

Next thing I knew, I was spending more and more time online to the point where I had literally failed most of my exams and am now having to study a course that is as exciting as the contents of the eunuchs underpants. As I write this to you, I am sitting down on my bed with my IBM ThinkPad T40, exploring the contents of my little brothers hard drive to make sure that he has actually done his homework this weekend. And as I retire from The Herald I start off onto a new beginning, for no longer am I simply the geek with the speak but the guy that will hopefully be changing the way we look at technology.

I am Max Shanly, I was your writer, you were my readers, I will be your host and you will be my viewers.