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Post by ><Lamaenic>< on Feb 22, 2009 4:14:42 GMT
My Own Valhalla
Come, come, Can't you see me beckoning? I've got a place to show you.
Run, run, Can't you keep up? We got a ways to go.
One step at a time, Flailing and demeaning But it'll all be worth it When we arrive.
I'll take you to my Valhalla, To my own oasis in the endless desert That is life . . .
The sun isn't the brightest, The birdsong isn't the sweetest, The air not the freshest, But the quiet is wholesome and The peace genuine.
I'll show you my paradise, Where nobody is forsaken Everyone is attended to Love is abundant, and Passion is burning.
So put that foot forward Let the earth thunder with your footsteps! We have a journey to travel And we can't stop for a rest.
For though the journey is long The gates approach Never will we shy away As we ascend.
I'll take you to my own Valhalla My shelter from the storm My shield from the world.
Come, come, Can't you see it beckoning?
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Post by Ĵşħ on Feb 25, 2009 5:37:33 GMT
Very nice! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this one! I only have 1 thing to say that I noticed. Whenever I read this stanza I'll show you my paradise, Where nobody is forsaken Everyone is attended to Love is abundant, and Passion is burning. For some reason it was a bit off, it might be the way I am reading it or something, but it just seems a bit choppy compared to the rest of the piece. Besides that great poem, I like the imagery used in this one. I definitely felt as if I was watching a scene with no pictures and it was good.
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