xii.
Every manner of tunnel had been utilized to form the road underground. Extensive work had been done connecting subway tracks and sewers. Years of digging and dragging the dirt to the surface, thousands of men, hundreds of which died on the job. It was called Headstone Road. The only way to track it from the surface was a broken, jagged trail of grave markers that mimicked the path of the tunnel beneath. Rumor was that the dead were buried face down. It gave the impression of ghosts hovering and watching, suspended in the earth above, doomed to forever watch those that traverse the tunnel they’d given their very lives to help create. I hadn’t yet decided if those ghosts were guardian angels or jealous demons.
We would have said goodbye to the sun, but…well…it just didn’t seem all that necessary. We opened the trap door in the Council’s chambers and descended. Our miner’s hardhats, flashlights affixed, were now our only light.
“Oh. That smell. What the hell is it? Ew…” I suddenly became aware that I sounded like such a girly snob in that moment, but Tree laughed, and then I laughed at myself. “Tree, what if I break a nail? What if my hair gets frizzy from how damp it is down here?”
“I refuse to be seen with you, if that is the case. Frizzy hair is for unpopular losers,” he said with such sincerity that for half a second I believed him, which made me giggle.
“You don’t laugh enough, Belle. Not damn near enough.”
I stopped walking and stared at the back of his head, indignant. “Are you trying to tell me I’m wound tight? That I don’t have a sense of humor?”
“It means you have a really infectious laugh. It makes me happy when I hear it. Neither of us has much reason to smile, so I think it would be great if you would laugh more often.”
He stopped and turned when he didn’t hear me following him. I tried to wipe the smile from my face, but I didn’t succeed. For once, I was grateful for the dim lighting. It meant he couldn’t see me blush. I caught up to him and we continued on our way in silence. My smile wouldn’t quit, so I walked ahead with the map.
“I can tell by the back of your head that you are still smiling. Your ponytail has got this extra little bounce going on.”
“Stop it, Tree! You’re pissing me off!”
“Then why are you still laughing?”
“Soldiers don’t discuss the bounce of each other’s tail. It isn’t appropriate!”
We were both laughing so hard we were clutching our stomachs. He was leaning against the wall of the tunnel, and I actually had tears rolling down my face. I hadn’t laughed that hard in so many years! My face hurt because my smile was so wide.
“Oh, shit. Hahaha. My stomach hurts.” I wiped my eyes with a handkerchief. We both sighed loudly at the same time and that only made us laugh harder.
“Let’s sit for a minute. I actually have a cramp in my side from laughing,” he said, slightly out of breath.
“It’s too early for a break.”
“Belle, we’re in the bowels of something that is both miraculous and tragic. We’re on our way to something great, and this stinky tunnel is probably the last safe place we’ll be. I just want to take a minute to think about that. We could be on our way to save the world, or we could be about to die. We were given our assignment so quickly that I haven’t taken a minute to absorb what’s happening.”
“I tend to think best while I’m walking. I liked to take walks with my parents when I was a kid. They would discuss politics and Plato’s Republic, and my brother and I would mimic them and pretend we were debating politics too. Martin always took it too seriously, so I would end up shutting down and keeping to myself.” I sat down beside Tree. “He thought I was silly. He made fun of me for laughing too much. He said the world is full of bad things and we needed to be serious and concentrate on fixing what was wrong with the world. He was repeating something he heard our dad say to our mom once. I didn’t know he believed it. I also didn’t realize he interpreted it in an entirely different way than my father meant.”
“How so?”
“My dad wanted nothing more than to have his kids grow up in a free world,
without an imminent revolution. He wanted things to go back to the way he remembered them at the turn of the new century, back when he first married mom. My brother seems to think the war is like a forest fire. It’s cleansing this land of impurities and only the strong, capable and intelligent will survive, so that from the ashes a stronger and better America would arise.”
“Holy Fuck. It doesn’t get any more Hitler than that. And he’s a deputy? Alive and hunting people like you and me? I guess he’s the evil twin.”
I slapped his cheek. Not hard, but he was stunned into silence. “He’s still my brother, my
twin. He may hunt us as we speak, you and I feeling safe in our tunnel, but I refuse to harm him. He’s my twin. He’s lost and scared and I’m going to help him see what mom and dad tried to teach us since we were born.”
Tree didn’t look at me.
“I’m sorry! I can’t believe I just hit you, I’m so sorry. Please don’t be angry.”
“It didn’t hurt.” Tree still wouldn’t look at me. “I’m not angry either. I do, however, feel the need to tell you something.” He finally looked me in the eye. “I’m sorry, but it may come down to it, Rebelle. You may have to kill him. Think about it. While we walk.” He grabbed the map and started back on the path.
I followed at a significant distance. I wasn’t smiling anymore.
xiii.
We talked very little as we walked. Even when we stopped for meals we didn’t exchange more than just a few pleasantries.
It was different when we finally stopped for the night. Well, night according to our watches. We found a flat stretch of the tunnel and spread out our sleeping bags. Tree placed his directly next to mine. We took off our hardhats, but we left one flashlight on, facing away so the light was diffused. “Lay down,” he said. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
“About my brother.”
“Yeah, about your brother.” He rubbed his eyes for a moment before speaking again. “I don’t know how to ask you this without sounding young and insecure, but what if it was a choice between me and your brother?”
“I guess I’ll know if such a moment arises.”
“That wasn’t really the answer I was looking for.”
“What do you want me to say, Tree? I’m sorry that I love my brother and sorry for wanting to give him a second chance to do the right thing? I won’t let him hurt you or me. You need to trust me. It won’t come down to a choice between the two of you,” but as soon as I said it, I knew I was wrong and it might come down to just that. “Alright,” I said quietly, hesitantly. “You’re right. Do I have to say it out loud, though?”
“No, you don’t have to. I do trust you. Are you angry with me for making you face this?”
I shook my head no. I could feel tears wanting to spill. There was no way I could stop them or even turn my head in time to hide them from Tree. “Don’t look at me please.”
“I’m trying to understand why you are so afraid of showing emotion. If you bottle it up too tight you’ll become a ticking time bomb. It isn’t healthy. Maybe it’s you who needs to start trusting me. Confide in me.”
“I feel like I’ve already revealed too much about myself. I feel too vulnerable as it is. I really want to sleep.” That was a lie; my fast beating heart was nowhere near ready for sleep.
“You just want to runaway from this conversation.”
“Stop knowing me so well. It’s creepy!” I shoved his shoulder very lightly.
He playfully shoved me back. “I’m not creepy! Take that back.”
“It’s a fact you’re going to have to face about yourself, I’m afraid.” I shook my head very gravely, as if I was a doctor informing a patient that he has a terminal illness. “It’s a shame, really. So young, yet so creepy.” I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. For the second time in one day we cracked up to the point of tears.
That’s when I kissed him. He said, “Goodnight,” after the laughter quieted, and I kissed him on the lips. Really, I just brushed his lips with mine, but I stunned him. I smiled and kissed him again immediately, sensuously. My first kiss! It was so pretty and perfect and we made it last.
“That was my first kiss,” he said, his eyes half closed and a dreamy faraway smile covering his face.
“Me too.” I touched his cheek very gently. “Goodnight.”
We slept in each other’s arms, dreamlessly and at peace.
xiv.
We walked in high spirits the next morning. We were giggly and nervous and falling in love. My feet didn’t even hurt because I felt like I was floating more than walking.
“It should be only another mile before the first check point. I suggest we stay focused in case the check point has been compromised. There is an exit to the surface at this post, right?”
“Right,” he said. “And I agree with being cautious. Let me in front.”
“Are you trying to protect me? I can protect myself, you know.”
“I know. If this map is accurate, there’s a side tunnel on the left just before the post. It’s just as likely we could get ambushed from behind if an ambush is waiting there. I’m expecting you to protect our back.”
“Will do.”
We were ever more cautious as we closed in on the checkpoint, switching our flashlights off and using a very small penlight to show us the way.
Tree and I were dead silent. We heard faint sounds drifting from ahead. I held my breath so I could hear a bit better. The sound was almost distinguishable from background noise, and it was definitely something organized, with rhythm…it was music! “It’s ‘Tier’ by Rammstein,” I whispered. Tree shushed me.
A hyperactive young man with very long, dirty-blond hair greeted us enthusiastically. “The other runner is up ahead. I’ve been expecting you two. Have a seat, have some vodka. Bet you haven’t had that in a while. My name is Dolph. I hope you like the music. I only have a handful of CD’s. But I have a ton of batteries. I have a recharger and if you need to use it you are welcome to it.” He led us into a lounge, of sorts. It looked like it could have been an office within the subway station. Now it contained a couch that folded out into a bed, a makeshift kitchen, dim lantern light instead of fluorescent, and various other comforts and things.
I noticed he hadn’t asked for the password. It made me uneasy.
He turned the music low and brought us both double shots of vodka in shot glasses that read “I <3 NY”. “I am so thrilled to have people to talk to. You have no idea. Weeks I’ve gone without human contact, and when it happens it’s brief. Can you stay for a meal? I took a chance and hunted this morning. I made a killer rabbit stew. That’s what you smell simmering on the fire. I even had some pepper to add. Have a seat, I’ll bring you some, just sit down and make yourselves comfortable, okay?”
He moved so quickly and rarely paused for breath as he spoke. He made me nervous.
Tree whispered to me, “I think Dolph is a little stir crazy.”
I agreed emphatically. Did that mean I didn’t trust him? Not necessarily.
“I can change the music if you like. I have some Prong, some Soilwork—”
“I quite like Rammstein, actually. Can you start if from the beginning please?” As soon as he turned his back I whispered to Tree, “There’s a rabbit toe in my soup.”
“What…no fur? Like mine?”
“Shhhh…” He was on his way back to us.
“How’s the soup? Does it have enough pepper? I have more if you want it.”
I stirred the concoction with my spoon to stall for time, and that’s when it bobbed to the surface. One of the rabbit’s eyes. I yelled, and the bowl toppled. Soup splashed across the floor. I could still see the eye on the linoleum, glistening in the lantern light.
“Shit, that’s ok. I’ll clean it up in no time. That’s the last of the soup, though.” Dolph knelt to clean the spill.
I looked at Tree and smiled. I mouthed the words “Ha ha!” just before he turned to stare forlornly into his own brimming bowl.
“You two could share,” Dolph said, pleased with the suggestion.
I didn’t need to look over at Tree to know that he was now pointing and laughing at me. I gritted my teeth and answered, “That would be great, Dolph.”
“Sehnsucht” played in the background. My German was decent, and the line “Sehnsucht ist so grausam” stood out to me. “Longing can be so cruel…” I said out loud.
“Hey, you speak German? What does ‘Gott weiß, daß ich nicht ein Engel sein möchte’ mean?”
“God knows I don’t want to be an angel.”
No one said a word for a long moment. It was an uneasy silence for me because I had a bad feeling all over. “We have a strict schedule. I think it’s time we got moving.” I set the bowl on a wobbly table in the “kitchen”. “I don’t want to get a cramp while we walk, so I’m passing on the soup.”
Tree was on his feet. He towered over Dolph by a head and a half at least.
“S-so soon?” Our host stammered.
I walked away without another word. I needed to get out of there. I overheard Tree muttering some contrived apology for my behavior and then he too was back on the road with me. We moved at a quick pace for a long time. In the meantime, Dolph cranked up the volume of the music.
“Would you mind telling me what we’re running from, Belle?”
“I don’t know. It was instinctual. I just knew we had to get out of there. Listen,” I slowed my pace. “It’s ‘Tier’ again. ‘Tier’ means ‘Animal’. This song is about when a man becomes a predator and preys on his own flesh and blood.” A shiver crawled up my spine.
The saga continues next month...